I look and Act Just Like my Mind and Will - The Tao of Billy Blanks

This week on breaking bullying.

Even the strongest of us can come

from the tragedy of being bullied.

And this week, we talk to a very specific gentleman

who in his youth suffered greatly but overcame it.

We're going to hit that music and we're going to get started

along with my co-host, Tim.

Joining us this week is a man who has more belts than a leather factory warehouse.

It is martial arts expert and founder

of the Tebow system himself, Billy Blanks.

Billy, thank you for joining us this afternoon.

How are you?

I'm awesome.

I'm glad to be here and blessed to be here.

Let me say that.

And I'm looking forward to talking to you guys.

So, Billy, you've had much success of your life, but

a lot of us don't know how hard

it might have been for you as a child growing up as a youth.

Tell us what it was like growing up where where you came from.

Well, I grew up in Erie, Pennsylvania.

In Erie, Pennsylvania.

You know, we lived I lived in the ghetto, had 15 brothers and sisters

of ten brothers and five sisters.

And, you know, I used to be a kid who was very shy.

And, you know,

when you shy, you have a tendency to walk around like you have no authority,

you know, and you kind of timid, nervous and scared all the time.

And I think because of that, that made people want to pick on me more, you know.

So every day after school, as soon as the bell would ring,

I'd be the best one

they can get out of school and try to get home as fast as I could,

because if I didn't, I knew I wouldn't get picked on and bullied.

Right. So I would just run home and then it would get to a point.

It got to a point where in my neighborhood

it was this guy who was like 18 years old.

You know, he said he used to see me come running from school

and he's come out of the front door.

He's pull out a switchblade.

I'm going to kill you When I see, you know.

And it made me even more scared and nervous about walking around,

you know, in our neighborhood because of that.

And I should tell my mom and tell my dad and stuff.

And, you know, my dad can never kiss the guy, but my dad was always at work.

Right.

But again, it was just me trying to find a place.

How how, how I can escape and get home

without being able to run into people who wanted to fight Bully.

Was it always the same group of people?

No. It was always different groups of people.

Because you know, I was this kid

that was I had a learning disorder, my learning disorder with Alexia.

I think back in those days, nobody knew what dyslexia was.

And even now, when you talk to some people about dyslexia, people, people, all,

they had a big old thing.

They went around and they asked people, you know what dyslexia is?

Some people did. Some people, oh, I think it's in your ankle.

I think people are.

And some people did still don't even know what it is.

But I had dyslexia because it had that.

It made me really shy.

I was the only brother out of all my brothers that wanted to play a sport

but couldn't play the sport because I was too scared

because if I had to read something, it has something to do with plays and things.

Then it would make me look like make me feel like I was stupid

Then it would make me look like make me feel like I was stupid

Then it would make me look like make me feel like I was stupid

and it just took my confidence away.

At what age did your bullying start and how long did it last?

My bullying started at first grade.

So about seven.

Yeah, seven years old.

And then from seven years old all the way to

when I got into my first martial arts taekwondo class.

And I was 13 years old

when I got to class, that's when it started to slow down a little bit.

I still got it and I got it from older kids because I was a pretty big kid.

At 13 years old, I was close to six feet, you know,

and I was just a kid who was shy.

I would say when people say something to me, I would go, Yes, just sir.

And, you know, it's kind of my head and stuff like that.

And so I think I look like a victim.

You know, I was a kid that people go, oh, that's the easy one.

Go ahead. This bully hit.

Because of being shy, being quiet, having dyslexia,

which also would probably affect your schoolwork.

Definitely affect my schoolwork.

It made me, you know, you know, I had to go to special education,

you know, and then being be able to go to a special education class.

That marks.

You, right.

In those days, you had to get on a yellow bus, right?

When you got on a yellow bus, kids would see you.

And then that was it.

I was going but with bus with kids who had were handicapped.

Some kids are mentally handicapped as well as physically handicapped.

So then everybody mixed me and with that group.

And so I was like nervous about getting on the bus, but I didn't get on.

So I didn't wouldn't get on the bus.

I would run to school, you know, I would walk to school

even though our school was like two miles away from my house, I would walk.

So, Billy, you refused to ride that yellow bus, Correct.

Or did you have to go on it a few times?

No, I refuse to ride it. I didn't go on it.

Okay.

Then at that time I could because I was old enough to be able

to know directions and so I didn't have to write it.

Would you say that bullying was rampant within your neighborhood?

Yeah, it was rampant, you know, because I lived in street ghetto, right?

Because living in the ghetto, you got all kind of kids

who wants to be the boss, right? And who wants to?

And I think that's why a lot of gangs started because of that.

Kids did not want to walk home by themselves,

so they would go join a game, you know, and then you got your protection.

You know, I have 15 brothers, sisters,

but each one of us had our own direction that we were going in.

And most of my brothers played after school sports.

And if they saw anything happen, they were all always come over

and try to, you know, break something or get in, get involved with it.

Right.

But I was I was getting

people caught by himself either because I was shy kid.

So I really didn't hang out with too many people.

I was always by myself.

And I think when you're by yourself, that's that's another

victim being right where people go, well, you know, nobody likes him.

He's a shy kid.

Look at him.

He walks around with his head down all the time.

So that was I was a person that people say, you know, let's go out to him.

Did you ever get into any fights?

Yeah, I got I definitely got into bison and, you know,

because I was pretty big and strong, you know, I didn't like to fight.

But if I did fights, you know, people got hurt, right? But

me, I would I would

beat up beat up a kid and go home and cry because I had to be somebody up.

I had gone

talk to my mom and dad, Her mom, you know, I had a fight and I had hurt somebody.

But then my mom and dad would talk to me and tell me, you know, Billy,

you know, protect yourself. What do you think will happen to you?

And so, you know, I just had to keep fighting,

keep fighting and hope that,

you know, I can get home safe.

My my thing was I hated to fight.

Didn't like to fight.

I even had to fight with my best friend one day because he was bullying,

you know, bullying me.

And I just had to say, okay, I'm tired of it.

We had to fight. So we had a fight in the night of crying.

Crying because I had to beat up had to beat up my friend, you know.

And even though you fought back, that didn't stop them from bullying.

You know? No.

Because I think living in the streets is is a way that

kids made a pathway.

And even though I was beat up kids and I would get beat up to

is still it was a challenge.

You know nobody had guns back in those days.

Nobody everybody would deal with their fists,

you know, and they deal with what came out of their mouth.

And then it got to a point where you and I got a little bit older.

My brother became,

you know, top athlete.

And then he also became, you know, well-known street fighter.

And because he became a well-known street fighter, when kids got in face, you know,

you know, how was the guy name he used due to fighting on the ring?

Kimbo Slice. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

My brother Joe was a street fighter in back in the neighborhood.

My father caught him running home.

We both were coming home from school, and my father saw both of us running.

But I was running because I wanted to get home fast.

My brother was running because he was running from a kid,

and my father saw him naked.

He was running from was living next door and he was bullying my brother.

My brother.

We we always started not to mess with people, you know, just be good kids.

You know,

my father always taught us we had to we had to, you know, fight for our self.

But no bullying, no, none of that stuff.

So my brother would just because you don't want to hurt people, he ran home, too.

He was home.

He my older brother, he was like six two and pretty big for his size.

Right.

But he was still, you know, kind of a coward careening about fighting back.

And and my father caught him and my father calling me.

So you got to go back outside.

You don't go because I fight that kid.

You going to be running home all the time.

And then that's what I learned.

You know, I can't be running anymore.

My father did that to my brother.

I'm going have to stand up for myself.

That's when things started to stop.

And was that how you're bullying? And did.

I? Bully ended because of my brother's reputation.

But then when I got involved with karate, everything stopped.

What was your reason for joining karate?

My reason for John karate to be is because I wanted to be disciplined, focused.

I, you know, get into boxed in first.

And I got into boxing.

All the boxes of training was telling me, Billy,

as soon as you see Red, you got to act like a shark.

You got to go after it.

But then I saw Tito, Bruce Lee on TV, the Green Hornet, And then when I saw

Bruce in the Green Hornet, I saw how much focus and discipline he had.

And I knew in my neighborhood it wasn't about me learn how to fight

because I could you know, you can always get a street fight, right?

So I learned how to physically take care of myself.

My goal was to learn discipline and focus.

And I saw that discipline and focus Bruce Lee had with his body.

So I wanted to be able to be a kid who had that focus and discipline.

Plus,

I wanted to be able to be different than other kids

because I didn't have any grew up good in school.

My schooling was not that great.

So I start to look at the control that Bruce

Lee had of his mind and body together as one man.

I want to be to do that because I wanted to help people one day.

And so when they built the youth center,

got a chance to go to my Luther King Center and go to that credit class.

And when I got involved with that karate class, man, I got a chance to see

out of my own eyes that I could be successful.

Were you hooked from day one?

I was hooked from day one.

I was hooked from day one.

But it was hard for me, too, because I was I have dyslexia

and my instructor had to kind of do a lot of stuff with me.

But he said, Billy,

if you want to take karate, I can't spend that much time with you

because then I can't spend time with the students.

He said this going back and do your best to try to follow along.

So I did.

I did that for years and we can to our turn.

When I turn,

I started 11.

When I turned 13, that's when my martial arts start to click.

You know, I'm glad your instructor

at that time did that for you, because I feel like nowadays

there are some martial arts schools where they were they would get

I kept a little confidence they have learning disabilities or issues.

They'll just some of this. I say, Sorry, you can't come here.

We're not a good school for you. Yeah, he didn't do that.

My instructor.

I just came home from the Vietnam War, and when we first

went down there, I went down to what, five guys threw in a gang, right?

And I said, What are you guys?

If we want to take karate describe program?

And that's when the instructor asked a question.

I wanted to raise my hand. I'm is it me? I want to take it.

But I couldn't do it because gang members thought it was.

That's for girls.

Boys don't take that kind of stuff.

And so we left.

And when we left, I went to my house.

They went to a house.

And when they got far enough

where they could see me, I turned around, went back, and I went over

and I stood in front of the door and cried and started.

It was a black gentleman and a Korean gentleman.

They were standing there nearly and looked over and saw me.

They said, Come on in.

I just walked in. I said, You won't take karate.

See you back. I said, Yeah, I want to take karate.

This is okay.

And the guy said to me, I bet you $5 you won't stick it out.

That's what he said to me.

I'll bet you $5 you won't stick it out.

And that right there was the hook for me.

I said, Now here's another person, sin, and I would never be successful.

Watch. I'm going to show you.

And up until this day, he's

gone a little bit in my shorts and he's like a fifth degree black belt.

And I'm an active black a mr.

in martial arts of No one was 50 years, Right.

And I'm still in it. He's out of it.

And so in Elmo and I always talk to my instructor

first one who taught me because he was the one who opened up the door for me.

And I always give him a lot of credit for helping me out

and giving me the strength and power to be able

to have that confidence, to be able to do whatever I wanted to do in my life.

And it changed my whole life.

Now. Billy, why do people associate martial arts

as a good activity for their kids to build confidence?

I think a lot has to do with the instructors.

Most instructors study martial arts and know that martial arts is a focused tool,

and it's a tool that helps build up self-confidence

and teach you how to become a bully.

It teaches you how to become a poster child

and have some self-awareness on how to help yourself

be a better person in life and then do that.

All of a sudden you start to learn about how to protect yourself.

You start to learn

that it's not about getting out there punching and kicking anybody.

It's about having so much self-control.

Now. That's why I like martial arts and that's why I like love to see kids.

Hard work pays off, discipline pays off, focus pays off, and teaches martial arts.

Teachers teach that in the studios.

You know, when you walk into the studio,

first thing you teach, you want to see how much

discipline you have, how much respect you have,

how much honor you have for the place you do.

You taught how to bow.

I mean, why would you bow when you walk into a studio?

You know, why would you why do you take off your shoes, Things like that?

I think because I was going through all that kind of stuff.

It started to teach me a lot of self-respect about myself and honor.

And then once I learned, honor was like, wow, this is this is great.

You know, I want to keep doing it.

And then once I got my black belt, you know, when they tie black belt around

your waist, that means you have achieved a lot of stuff.

My teacher always told me, Billy, when you get your black,

but now you telling me that now you ready

to start learning all that other stuff and just preparation up until the time

where you've got a black boy now

you now you understand, you understand the discipline, the focus factor of it.

Now let's see where you can go with it.

And that's this took me to a different level.

I follow you on Instagram and a while back you posted a video.

You're talking about one of your students.

He didn't want to do martial arts that day.

He didn't feel like he didn't want to do it.

But you gave this old confidence speech.

And then when he did Martial arts at the end of class,

you're saying how his mindset totally changed that day, right?

You got to change that negative mindset within, you know, 45 minutes.

Right?

I just think when you know, when you talking to kids, you know,

I have to tell them I have to be honest with the kids because this for me,

this is the hardest generation that ever tried to teach martial arts.

I've taught him five generations, you know,

but this one is the hardest because it's so much social media.

Kids don't they don't communicate anymore.

If they do communicate this by phone, even if they standing next

to each other, they'll text each other, even if they standing next to each other.

We're back in the days when I was coming up, we didn't have any of that stuff.

So you had to learn how to communicate a lot.

You had to learn a lot about the person who standing next to you.

And so when you teach and now

it's tough.

I think it's tough, tougher than ever, because kids don't understand discipline.

Correct.

Focus and basic communication.

Right. As a teacher, how do you overcome that?

How do you how do you bridge that gap when

you're effectively speaking two different languages?

Well, I do think, you know, I said, you know,

I always say I know how you like to social media.

You know, I said I didn't know

anything about social media, but because of you young use,

you teach me how to use my phone, how to take my discipline and focus

and take it to the phone

and take it to the computer to help other people throughout the world.

You know, at first we didn't I couldn't do that.

Now I can get on the phone or get on the computer

and I can teach 50 people in all different countries

and I learned that by watching, you know, today's people, you know,

And when you start talking to kids about how what they have,

how you can enhance it

to make you become better, then they go, Oh, I don't even think about that.

I don't think about of it like that.

I just thought about me being cool, me being doing this and maybe doing that.

Now I'm, I think about it is being able to help myself become a better person.

And I think when you start showing kids that that can give them power and empower

them to become better at what you do, what they do and they they change.

And that's what happened to that kid you got, you see out of his own eyes.

If he did focus for one minute, he would do this.

Look how much better you got.

Just in that time I told you to go ahead and do what you needed to do.

So you have a lot of good skills.

What are you going to do? Let it go to waste?

I mean, nobody can make you do it. I can't make you do it now.

And I told them I was honest with them and I talked to them.

I think when you look into another child's eyes and you talk to

the heart of the person, they see that you want them to be better.

But when you talk at them,

you're not looking into the heart of the person and is

you just like everybody else.

When you sit down, you talk.

I went to I went into a school where it was 64, the worst kids in L.A.

and they could not get these kids to be quiet.

They couldn't get them.

Is it because they, in principal want to introduce me to the kids,

but they cannot give these kids quiet down to do anything?

So I say, hey, wait, wait a minute for one second.

So I said, Let me walk in.

And so I walked in and the kids still went quiet, right?

It was still wouldn't get down.

So you know what I did So on let me walk back out.

So I walk back out and I grab two chairs now walk back in

and I put one foot on a chair, another foot on a chair,

displayed on a chair and a whole room got quiet.

I grabbed the attention and Suzanne grabbed the attention.

I sit in the chair with the microphone.

I was talking to my dad, Hey, I won't talk to you guys.

I grew up in a family of 15 brothers. Sisters, What do you want?

When is when you want to get something?

I know how hard it is to struggle

and has to having dyslexia, how hard it is to have not have confidence in you.

So I knew all about that.

Let's sit down.

Let's talk a little bit about how we can make ourselves be better.

That whole place, the principal See,

that's the first time that place was that quiet and we all talk.

And then the kids ask.

They asked if I would come back and teach.

So I came back and I talked two times a week.

It's called the Jefferson Program,

and it was a juvenile program for kids, you know.

So I just went back and taught two times a week.

And then kids start growing and they start understanding

that they have the authority and power to make a change in their life.

I think when you can show a child

that they have the authority to make a change in their life,

they'll do it, especially if they can start seeing things happen

physically, because most young people need to see physically things change.

I would like to take a moment

and circle this back into bullying while addressing you as a teacher.

Billy Yeah.

I am sure that throughout your career as an instructor

you have encountered and had to deal with children

who are themselves suffering from varying degrees of bullying,

either from light to really, really serious and heavy.

How do you handle those situations?

My daughter.

My daughter, like a prime example, she had seen the third

degree black belt excuse bullied every day she'd go to school.

Why won't?

Because she's quiet, she's shy, she's big.

She speaks almost six one. You've seen her?

I've seen her. She is she just quiet? You know, she don't.

You know, she's not allowed in, kids, see, because she's quiet.

Very good piano player.

On top of that, I just want to put that out there.

Yeah, because she deserves recognition for that.

She's a good Marcia.

What a dream.

Like the whole path for her, because she can kick good, real hard.

Right? But I always tell her that don't you?

When it gets to a point where you have to start

physically putting your hands on people, that's not going to be good

because you're either going to hurt somebody

or you can hurt you

or you can get in trouble and you're not going to get to do anything.

So I always say the best thing to do is have the car,

have the self-confidence to be able to go to the principal,

go to the teacher and talk.

And so she started going to the teacher and she start talking to the principal.

And listen, I'm a I'm a third grade black man, Taekwondo.

I know how to protect myself.

My dad has taught me since I was two years old.

And if you want me to protect myself, I will.

But I'm coming to you now to get you to stop these people. And

what happens in my

wife went to school and the girl who was bullying my.

My daughter's at least two feet taller than her,

but she just didn't want to put her hands on.

She want she's nice.

My dad, my daughter wants to love people.

You know, she's taught to

not to be violent, but to be as low as a person much as you can.

In every day.

I have to talk to her, build a confidence that because, you know, kids

walk up to you, you ugly and you this and you that I don't like you're here

here's you know they say all kind of things to her and my thing is they yoga

the most important thing about what you have to do, you have to believe that

there's something bigger than everything out there.

And my thing for her was God as a hey, you got to go to God.

And when you go to God,

have the peace within yourself that no matter what people say to you,

have that peace enough to be able to have the calmness

to keep yourself in the right place.

And sooner or later, those kids who did that to

you will start to turn around so they know what happened.

We went and did a martial arts demonstration at a school,

and when the kids saw her do her martial arts do like, Oh my God, I know.

And then they when they saw me, they didn't know I was her father.

And that helped out a lot.

It started changing things for her in school.

That's how my bullying ended for me.

I had my church demonstration in my school, in my high school,

and what I saw me spar, break boards do form.

That was the end of it stopped.

Same thing for me. 16 years ago.

I went to the School of Broken where I broke some boards and I jumped up in.

Back in those days, I was a pretty good jumper.

I could kick a basketball hoop.

I put a balloon inside the basketball hoop and I jumped up and busted,

you know, a busted balloon and I did a self-defense

demonstration with ten men attached to me and coming at me.

You know, even though it was it was quite goofy.

The kids saw it.

And then when I broke at that time, you know, I was young.

I was 16, 17 years old.

I broke three bricks with a with a hammer, fists.

And I kicked to bricks with a jumps like a spinning back kick.

And that right there,

I became like a hero,

you know, Everybody left me alone.

I think that best advice you gave your daughter was to remain calm,

because a lot of times bullies, they want to get that reaction from you

just so they have a reason to just so they have a reason to hit you.

Right.

And the fact that she didn't do that, they got bored. Yes.

But series up until last year, getting bullied every day.

Every day or day.

My wife wanted to go to school

and I said she wanted me to go to school and talk to the doctor to give.

Right. I said, Don't go.

I can't go to school, that I get in trouble.

Right.

You know, and I said, You can't do it either.

But one day she got a car and my daughter said, Mom, that's a girl right there.

And so she walked right up to the girl and start talking to the girl.

And I had to go get her say, listen,

you can never do that again because you get in trouble.

But she went up, she spoke, and then the father of the girl came, came

and she said she talked to the father.

And the father was so upset because he thought his daughter was perfect

when he found out that she was bullying kids in school,

not just my daughter, she was bullying a lot of kids in school.

He was totally upset.

And so he she got in a lot of trouble and he fixed it.

Kudos to that girl's

father for doing that, because a lot of parents

seem to when you say, hey, your kid is bullying mine,

well then get defensive because their kid was perfect, as you, you know.

And of course, their kid didn't do that.

And your kid is just being hypersensitive or something along those lines.

The fact that he took responsibility and disciplined

his child is a big thing and that deserves recognition.

Yeah.

And you know why he did it, though?

I think the same thing happened to him.

He got bullied and it didn't For him to think that

his daughter was a bully, I think it really bothered him.

Yeah.

I mean, that's the only person on this call without children.

If I did have children and I found out that my child bullied

somebody, I would be very upset because,

you know, you never really like

when you are bullied as a child, no matter what it does to you,

how you get past it or what it does to you, it still remains with you.

It's still part of the building blocks that make you.

And it's one of the more unpleasant.

It's building blocks that are in your make up.

So very much

you wouldn't want your child to be doing that.

That would be problematic for you as a formerly bullied child.

Again, kudos to this gentleman.

Yeah, he he he was awesome.

And it's stop it stopped. It stopped.

But I do want to engage you more because in this circumstance with your daughter,

your primary relationship with your daughter is one, a father.

And that's a little bit different than a kid who comes in

who has issues that you now are trying to address

because it's not also addressing the child is addressing the parent.

When you see a child who is

clearly being bullied or comes up to you and tells you that they're being bullied,

how do you address that when it's not your own child?

Well, why is that?

You got to you got to help build self-confidence,

you know, And I think through martial arts, if you get it,

get a child that comes into a studio, most of them are very shy.

Most of them are very timid.

So the goal is to be able to get them to do something that they didn't never

they never thought they could do.

And all of a sudden they see deal and all see,

I told you what happens when you do that and they get all you right

and all of a sudden you start to see that you started to see them rise up.

And when you start to see them rise up, you still keep feeding them stuff

that's going to help build their self-confidence.

And when you start to help build

a child's self-confidence, doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl,

all of a sudden you start to see them grow.

And that's not that's just not kids, right?

We talk about adults, too. We talk about people.

This this, this up in the age they still get bully.

Right.

And so my thing is, again, you give them a chance to see success

when you give a child a chance to see

physical, mental success,

their confidence starts to get big and it can be something easy.

It could be like there's two jumping jacks,

it can be something like squats, it can be something simple and easy.

But it was hard to them.

But it's to us it was like, Oh, that's pretty easy to do.

But for them it might be a milestone, right?

But they do it and they go, Wow, I don't think I could do that.

Then what happens if we do more?

And then all of a sudden they start to see more things happen.

When you start giving them a chance to see life grow from from what they doing,

then it changes their confidence, it changes their attitude.

It makes them feel like they can overcome obstacles.

And, you know, when you as a martial arts teacher, Tim, I know you do this,

these kind of things too.

You give students a chance to take charge.

They've all I'm teaching five, five of the kids that then

all of a sudden they start to see confidence building.

You know. So is it instructive?

Do you get to define things that make the child tick

and then you go after it and then you

somehow it makes them stronger and build and build their confidence?

One thing I've noticed as an instructor with building confidence,

it doesn't happen with the first one or two classes.

And I've had students where the parents would tell me,

Well, they don't want to do it anymore,

and the parents agree with that child and they just give up.

And I'm at a loss for words.

I'm like, Well, you told me you want your child to build confidence.

And of course, I, I want to do it, You know, big classes.

He's kind of scared or she's kind of scared, whoever.

But the parents buy into it.

What could I say to those parents

to keep their kid, to keep coming to class?

Because it's not a quick fix for some kids, right?

There's never a quick fix, right?

Any kid I think any kid is massively shy and not shy of being bullied

or not being bully.

I think martial arts is that is that is that especially now for the kids

these days is tough

because they have to physically, mentally work hard to be good at it.

You know, good martial arts is not an easy thing.

So I think you have to finally find a way to talk to them.

Like I have a boy right now.

He's 14 years old, young man, 40 years old.

He gets bullied all the time in school.

He's the second done in block.

His second down black belt.

And I tell him all the time, I say, listen, you need to come in the studio

and give it your best.

Or you can come in and steal and give it your worst.

But just remember who has the power to do both sides.

You do it because you have the power to do both sides.

Then you can make a decision.

If you want to quit, you quit

like the one kid, the one you heard me talking to that day.

I told you No, I. So you think I said, hold you?

I'm 60 some years old. They got out.

You think I want to play with?

You know, I got time to play with you.

If you don't want to take martial arts

in and tell you that if you don't want to bring it back,

you don't have to bring it back because I ain't got time to teach

the people who don't.

I have to be honest and to be truthful to a job,

I said, and I tell the parents, if you allow a child to direct their

tell you, let you let them direct you in, how they going to run their life,

then you got you better worry because it's

you don't want to do things and you you allow them to quit.

Then it's up to you.

And I said the word that you should quit teaching your child.

This is I really believe this word the most.

You wish you could teach a kid is try,

try. Okay, we're fine.

Don't do this. We go try some notes.

Don't do this. We go try them. No, that's a film.

That's the way to film.

I mean, I learn how to take try of my life 40 years ago.

I don't try to do it.

I do in.

The goal is to teach kids that do not try because Try has no power.

I want to circle back a little bit here, Billy, you made a very good point.

If you let your child start dictating their life, they have a problem.

That's what her percent True.

Because I feel like we had this new age parents

where as parents were the father or mother or whatever.

Everybody's busy.

The kid doesn't want to do something.

Whatever. It's easy to give up on something.

How much responsibility is it for the parent

to see that child

continue on with their first goal that they said they were going to

start with and then two weeks later they now say they want to quit?

I could be mistaken, but I think what you're asking is in this day

of helicopter parents, where everything is built towards

of the want of the child,

how do you cope with dealing with parents

who, at the first sign of discomfort of their children,

allow them to just quit or move on,

that the child is dictating the pace of

the upbringing?

See it again.

I'd say that I think the most important thing

to give the child is an athlete, a non athlete, just life.

And generally when you say, Let's try to do this, then you give them a leeway out.

When you say, let's try.

If it doesn't work, we'll go do something else that don't work.

We go do something else is always that, you know, I can see it all the time.

Did it to kids.

Okay, we to try to do this. Okay.

We will try to do it.

Say, hey, I told my parents honestly, I said, listen,

that boy is only five years old.

He's telling you what he wants to do.

You allow him to do that right now.

And if you allow him to do that, then you're going to allow him to be able to

dictate whatever he wants to do with him, with his life.

Right now, martial arts is what martial uses of discipline for a child.

If you can get your son or daughter to come to this

martial arts class and do it once a week, I don't care if they come once a

we don't have to come twice a week,

but just once a week in the midst of them come in once a week.

That's going to teach them a whole lot about themselves

and they going to learn the discipline factor

and then it becomes instinctive, even though they don't want to be there.

When something becomes instinctive,

they have it inside of them, when they need it

and they need to pull it out, it will come out.

But if you say, okay, no, look, you don't like it,

okay, let's go do something else, then you teach me how to fail.

You teach me how to quit.

You teach me how to give up.

I don't want my daughter to give up in my room.

Another fight for what she needs to fight for.

And sometimes, you know, every child don't.

They don't want to go to a martial arts studio

because it's hard work, it's discipline and it's hard work and it's something

they don't feel like they can get good gains out of it all the time.

And then, too, if you if a child gets a black male

at a young age, then what is the black belt in an older age, as it were?

You teach them that.

Yeah you can you junior black girl.

All this done prepared you for your later years.

It's like going to school.

You go to first grade from kindergarten to fifth grade to sixth grade.

Then you go to middle school.

Once you get in middle school, that's a whole different attitude.

And once you get out of middle school

and go to high school, that's a whole different attitude.

And then you go to college if you want to, and that's a whole different attitude.

Well, that's the way martial arts is.

You got to go through all these different stages

so you can learn a lot about yourself as a martial artist.

And then I see, you know what it is too.

It's like, could you imagine if I take a child

your age and take it and put your both beside each other?

You do martial arts and martial art.

I tell a parent,

just this child's going, Mosharraf, this just child's not doing martial arts.

This child, what is martial arts? Discipline.

So this child started to understand the discipline factor of life at a young age.

I said, Then it becomes that person becomes like a superhero.

If you put a kid next to him, that child becomes a superhero.

So when they can see that, you know, it's like Clark Kent,

you know, he'll never is you never see him as Superman until something bad happens.

Well, that's the same day, same way should happen to a child.

I say, look, you've got so much knowledge and wisdom and understanding that even

in doing your homework, that homework could be your opponent right.

And it makes you want to quit and give up.

But if you put on a martial arts attitude, a display attitude

is going to make you overpower homework and end up becoming a champion

and winning over your homework, winning over everything that happens to you.

So don't try to make it look look like what they like,

which are if you give martial arts, gives chance, you do whatever you like.

I can make martial arts geared toward that

martial should be geared toward whatever, whatever you like.

Then you teach them.

And I teach kids that.

I teach kids that way.

To Billy, if you were to give advice

to a younger you,

what would that be?

Well, one thing that I would like to say this to kids,

I say, what is the most powerful thing in the world?

I always ask that question, What is the most powerful thing in the world?

What would you say

if somebody asked you that question at a young age or

even at the age that you are now?

What is the most powerful thing in the world?

What would you say.

A young age?

I would say like back in my day, He-Man.

Imagine that's the most powerful thing in the world.

Okay. That's what I was.

What would you say

back then?

If I'm going to be honest, I don't know what I would have said back then,

but right now I would say the most powerful thing in my world

and what shapes the world for me is my perception

of myself in the world.

Oh, you want to you want to.

My thought today was powerful in the world.

It's all right.

The most powerful thing in the world to me.

Well, it's two parts, you know.

It's would be my faith in God. Mm hmm.

Because I've been bullied to a point I said back to my old

and my old recording a few weeks ago on one of the podcasts.

They didn't get too far due to it, but I thought about committing suicide.

That's boy so much.

I just wild dream vision.

And it was basically God showing me what's going to happen if I if I stay alive.

So that's what kept me alive.

So ever since then, yeah, you know, that's the most powerful thing for me.

This is

what I say to kids as it was the most powerful thing in the world.

And I ask that question because I know what they say, what they think,

And then you ask them this question, you say, I'll go with you.

Your parents say, Mom, what's the most powerful tool you have?

And they ask that question

I asked to ask the parents sometimes do, what's the most powerful tool you have?

So I tell the kids, Most powerful thing in the world to me is words,

words, thoughts ideas and suggestions.

Do what?

I don't care how old you are, you can be three years old and be 70 years old.

Thoughts, ideas, suggestions.

Do what they pop up in your head.

What you do with those thoughts and ideas is just as is

what's going to make your life either go up or backwards.

Think about it you got you can do you have you have this.

I always tell people say this.

They say there's not a lot. I,

I, I.

Together today. I said, say I.

One, two, three. I look.

Look, look and act

and and.

Act just like my mind and will.

Just like. My mind and will.

That's a powerful statement.

I look and act just like my mind and will.

So I say kids say it out loud.

I look and act just like my mind and will now say this out loud. I,

I look,

look and act. And.

And just like my body.

Just just like my body.

That's how most people are.

That's why they give up. They look in the mirror.

They look like what they see. They look at a scale.

They look like what they see.

They get they get depressed.

They look like what they see and feel.

So always still gives. That's what happens.

You get up in the morning,

you look like wood, how you feel, You look like what you see in the mirror.

But you have a mind, you have a will in with that mind

and will you can do with it.

You can either quit or you can give up.

That's how much power you have.

You have the power to quit and you have the power to get gone.

Which one are you going to use?

You can use it any way you have them.

Even if you're five year old child, you can your mother can tell you

get a body that year, you can woo yourself thinking about a gym, a sit here.

That's how much power you have.

Now, can you imagine if you took that power and you turned it around?

We think your life would go and think about what comes out of your mouth.

Death and life is in the power of the tongue.

I always tell people say this death in life is in the power of the tongue.

Those who love it will get the fruit of it.

And why does are you why do I use the word fruit? Why?

Why does God use that word?

Fungi used that term that in life?

Is that a power of you?

Don't, Billy, if you love it, you get the fruit of both of them.

So I always tell people,

take lights out and use the word that is in the power of the tongue.

When I see my mouth going to come to life, I'll I'm giving anybody

say whatever they say in a mouth is going to come to life.

I get up every day and I go like this. I don't feel good.

That's too hard for me.

And I do it every day.

What am I doing? What happens when you water plant?

It grows. It drowns.

If you water too much, what happens to it? A drowns?

What happens?

Your plan when you don't want to dies?

What happens to your life when you when you get up every day

and you water it with bad words,

you drown it.

Because every day I get up and watering with this.

That's too hard.

You're reinforcing the negative aspects.

And people don't understand that.

Kids don't understand that every day they get up, Mom, that's too hard for me.

I never do that, Mom. That.

Oh, you know, son, you right. That is too hard for you.

This go child is.

So then they keep saying that kind of stuff to them to do to themselves.

But when when a child, when you can set a child down

and say this, hey, hey, I look and act like my mind will, you know, part of

that is you look and act like you're mine and will.

That means I can will myself to do anything.

I can will myself quit?

I go with myself to go on with that.

What else can I do in my life?

If I truly wanted to, I can will myself and listen to hardier kids.

I will myself and listen to bad kids.

And what do you think will happen to my life?

It's going to happen like what they say.

And I always tell your child, say, listen, mamas, when you have a puppy

and you take it around a dog,

your puppy don't have fleas, but that other dog have fleas.

What happens when you take it around them fleas jump off on them.

What do you think happen into your life?

Same thing happens.

You can either

will yourself to be what you want to be or you can kill yourself not to be,

or you can always be what other people want you to be.

Imagine walking in other people's lives

and somebody tell you how you should live your life

and how you could you could do that yourself.

I just think that when you give kids information,

you give them strength and power.

They can build off of it. Yeah, I love that speech.

For one, I hear kids say all the time in my classes too.

And when you tell them that, hey, when you say your your mind is going

to believe it, they're like, No, I'm like, Dude, yes, it is.

You cannot say that.

Or if you say you can't do that, just add the word.

Yet behind it changes a whole state.

Right right away.

And what happens when you hear a song?

When a kids hear a song, what do they do?

They map it off that low and then look at you.

You sing a song you probably don't even realize you sing it

because you heard it so much.

You sing and stuff like this

that if this, that, this,

that they stay here and things like that and they sing to them

and then they reacting off of what they see and what they hear, it happens.

Oh yeah, repetition will burn things into your brain, be it the stuff you say

about yourself, the music you hear, the opinions you carry.

As you said, if you say about yourself, I'm not worthy.

You say that a couple times.

That is what your brain is going to believe.

You are programing yourself to believe you're not worthy

and you can program yourself to basically believe

whatever you want to believe about yourself by saying it to yourself.

And it's a very important point.

And then look what happens.

And then confirmation comes to what you already think in your friend

go, you know what you write,

you, you write, you can't do that.

That's confirmation already.

What happens is when they get confirmation, they.

Believe my thank you again for coming on our program.

If people wanted to follow you, where can they do that?

Oh, they can go to tribal nation icon and they can get me there right away.

You know that tell you, tell you where I am in the world.

I'll tell you what I'm doing from one day to the next.

So go to tribal nation dot com or go to

Billy Blanks Instagram

you know Billy official.

And I see every now and then you host some online table workouts too right on Zoom.

You know they can go on Zoom or they can go on the YouTube

channel and subscribe to the channel and they can get me there.

24 seven. Again, thank you.

Thank you so much, Billy. Thank you, guys.

That is awesome. Thank you. I mean, I think kids are going to love it.

Something that we all need, you know?

And as for us, you can find us either at our website

W WW dot breaking bullying dot com or you can email us with any questions

concern or your own story about bullying at brick

bullying here at gmail.com.

And if you are being bullied, if you are having issues

or if you know somebody who is being bullied,

there are online resources to help, the first of which

is the government's own anti-bullying website.

And that website is w WW dot stop bullying dot gov.

Another good resource is w WW dot pacer

dot com backslash bullying.

And if you're having feelings of self-harm and dark thoughts,

please reach out to the National Suicide hotline at 988.

I'm Tim Flynn for Bruce Knox and thank you for listening and join us

next week as we continue this conversation to break the silence on bullying.